CLIENT/PATIENT COMMENTS:
35 year old married mother of two (4 1/2 months and 4 1/2 years)
"What not why!"
When I entered your office 6 months ago, I was
simply seeking an “evaluation” for my
4 year old son. I was looking for a label; something
to define is violent, bizarre out of control behavior.
Simply put I was desperate. I thought if you evaluated
him and gave a name for this behavior, things
would get better because I would research this
“disorder” and try to help him……
Boy, was I wrong. You have taught me that labels
just don’t work they are confining and useless.
The diagnosis I was looking for was only to make
ME feel better so I had something to tell the
world, and they believed my son had a condition
and his behavior really was not a result of bad
parenting.
My son’s transformation in the last 6 months
has been amazing. Prior to seeing you he was extremely
violent and aggressive with peers and family members.
He was almost four years old and completely resisted
potty training. He would take off in parking lots,
streets and stores. He had no respect for authority
and simply refused to follow directions or cooperate.
His impulsive control was so bad that he began
to destroy property in my house. My house was
chaotic, yelling and screaming, pleading with
no results. I was quickly losing control of my
son and my household.
My son’s violence and aggression has improved
nearly 100%. He no longer hits family members
or peers. He was completely potty trained within
8 weeks of our first visit with you. He now is
learning to follow directions and cooperate with
minimal prompts. He is showing respect to my husband
and I and really is anxious to please us. My house
is more peaceful, the yelling has stopped and
real progress is being made. I now live with a
much more pleasant, happy and obedient child.
He knows we are in charge and no longer rules
our household. Following some simple no nonsense
discipline steps you provided me really improved
our lives dramatically.
You have taught me so much in 6 months-how to
love and accept my son for who he is, to stop
trying to analyze his behavior and look for an
explanation for it. You have given me the tools
to become a more effective parent, to discipline
with love and trust myself.
My son is probably “Autistic” and that’s
ok a word that crippled me with fear for four
years. Through your help, I am no longer paralyzed
with fear but looking forward to helping my son
be all that he can be.
The journey I am about to take is long. Some
days more sorrow than joy, but its ok. I am no
longer scared but looking forward to all the joy,
pain, and heartache being a mother will bring.
You are true talent and blessing in my life.
I am beginning to truly realize all I seek is
in my heart.
43 year old divorced woman
The day I
started seeing Dr. Ware was the lowest day of my life. I had
suicidal thoughts. I knew I needed help. Dr. Ware was very
caring. He wanted to know what was going on in my life. He knows
what he is talking about. He is extremely educated and
personable. He knew I was in a fragile state. Through his
guidance and direction he made me want to look for the truth.
The truth about who I am, the truth about my feelings and the
fact that it is okay to feel that way, as long as, I feel and
experience the feelings and not hide from them. He has taught me
that most people do things to numb the feelings. Either by
drinking, doing drugs or overeating - all so we won't "feel
bad". I have come a long way. I no longer want to end my life. I
look forward to my visits with Dr. Ware. He is like a good
friend who knows everything about you but won't let you get away
with any nonsense. He calls you on it. He keeps you real! Yes, I
have stuff going on. But Dr. Ware keeps you focused on embracing
the feelings. Your feelings belong to you and it's okay to feel
them. Dr. Ware will tell you that to not feel is to not live. He
also has a very good sense of humor and that helps to keep you
grounded. Sometimes you need to laugh at the craziness of what's
going on. You need to take care of you. Today I even enjoy life
and look forward to things in the future. I know I wouldn't be
where I am without Dr. Ware. He keeps me focused on who I am and
the fact that it's okay to be me, feelings and all.
Mother of a 9 year old son:
I am very pleased with your course of treatment with my son...
Those who knew him before he started seeing you, and have
followed us on our journey, have had the most awesome and
privileged experience of witnessing this transformation. Thank
you.
Mother of a 7 year old son:
I
would like you (Dr. Ware) to know how much our family
appreciates you. Your down-to-earth demeanor and your no
nonsense approach to child discipline has really helped us to
help ourselves and our children. I believe your experience in
family psychiatry has enabled you to relate to child and adult
issues. Thank you for being here for us. I would highly
recommend you to anyone who is seeking family and child
counseling.
41
year old mother of a 9 year old son:
"I can't begin to say what Dr. Ware's presence has meant to me
and my family. We came to Dr. Ware because our eight year old
son was having some difficulties. He was having a hard time with
focus and attention which in itself can be hard, but he also had
an anger problem and had threatened to hurt himself and others.
With Dr. Ware's help we have been able to turn things in the
other direction. I have also come to be a client of his myself.
After years of this kind of stress, it can really wear on your
marriage and family. Dr. Ware has been kind, sensitive, and most
of all honest with me. I will always be thankful for his
guidance."
39
year old Mother of an 11 year old boy:
"You've helped me focus on the important things in life. ...with
my son, you've helped a great deal. When I came to you I was
just looking at the problems I was having with him and focused
on "fixing" the child. You helped me know how to handle him. You
have shown a light on the wonderful parts of my son I was
missing. I was so entrenched with the issues of diagnosis and
the problems he was having, I didn't see how truly a remarkable
person my son is. I had totally missed that. What you've done is
an outstanding gift to someone. You've helped me redefine his
stubbornness as a strength... persistence. At first I thought
you weren't hearing me. Now when I look at him, he's the
neatest, entertaining, and funny. He interacts with adults as a
little adult. I had totally missed that. Others are amazed at
his abilities. It's been the greatest.. opening up of my eyes to
the good things. It definitely makes the bad things easier to
deal with. You are loved."
56 year old mother of four
adult children:
"I just feel better. My husband seems to be easier to deal with.
It's my perceptions... because I feel better. I am very pleased
that you accepted me (as a client). I know that I can be
occasionally difficult, which causes me to even more so
appreciate your time and effort. When I contacted you I knew
that I needed help, but I didn't know what kind of help I
needed. I prayed for guidance, and I believe that I was inspired
to call you. I had a list of numerous Psychiatrists that my
insurance would cover, but I chose to call you. I did not know
why at the time, but when I heard your voice it was soothing and
it just felt right. With this work, I am seeing things more
clearly, and I am more accepting of things that I had previously
denied or avoided. I'm more together. I'm not angry like I was.
I would tell someone interested in seeing you that I know it is
helping me and give him/her your phone number."
40 year old
female in a letter to her father who died abruptly when she was
11 years old:
I
REMEMBER WHEN… YOU TAUGHT ME:
“I remember
when you coached my softball team that summer. You batted the
balls to each position on the team, making sure that each one of
us had a chance to field the ball. You told us to think about
where to throw the ball before it was even pitched, according to
who was on what base, and that taught me to think ahead and be
prepared. And you taught us that when we batted to hit the ball
with all we had and to run hard to first base, even if we
thought we would be thrown out. There was always a chance that
the first baseman might drop the ball or not even catch it.
When you gave me one-on-one pitching practice, you taught me to
just get the ball over the plate, even if I wasn’t the best
pitcher on the team I could still try my best. And you taught
me to cheer on the rest of the team when it was my turn to sit
on the bench.
I remember
when you helped me study for the district spelling bee after I
won it for my school. You taught me that perseverance and
practice were the keys to improvement. And when I got rushed
and hurried to spell a word, it came out wrong and I was
disqualified and I felt like crying like some of the other
contestants were doing, but you came up to me and said you were
proud of me and that made all the difference in the world. You
said I could try again next year but how was I to know that you
would be gone and out of my life forever. Well maybe not
forever but as far as this world goes…
I remember
when I was about five and I was standing at the kitchen door
with some clothes in a paper grocery bag; I was going to run
away. Everybody sat at the kitchen table laughing but as I went
to open the door you asked, “Don’t you want to eat something
first?” You were the only one not laughing at me and I took
your request seriously and sat down to eat first, and by the
time we were finished I had changed my mind but you treated me
with dignity and respect and taught me that my feelings really
do matter even if there are some who do not care.
And that it’s
okay to change your mind after you have calmed down rather than
to make harsh decisions in anger.
I remember
when we lived in Ft. Oglethorpe and the people down the street
had a swimming pool put in. I asked you how come we couldn’t
have a pool like theirs and you told me not to want something
just because somebody else has it. You taught me to be thankful
for what I had and to be satisfied. Besides, we had the pool at
the church where we went all summer and I remember you taught me
how to swim by letting me sit on your shoulders as you went
deeper and deeper into the water. You taught me to trust you
and to not be afraid to try something new. I wish you could
have seen me in eighth grade when I was on the swimming and
diving team and I came in 1st place in the 500-yard
freestyle race. Believe it or not, Mom was there as she rarely
came to any of my sporting events and later would not let me
join any teams for fear that I would get hurt and she could not
afford any insurance on me. But she was proud of me that day, I
could tell.
I remember
when I was 4 or 5 and I wanted to see if hay would burn. So I
lit a match to the bale of hay that my brother had up against a
tree and before I knew it the fire was out of control and the
tree was on fire. As I ran back and forth to the hose filling
up buckets and trying to extinguish the fire, Mom woke up and
realized what was happening. After she got the fire out, she
scolded me and kept telling me “wait until your father gets
home.” I dreaded the next couple hours until you came in the
door and she explained what had happened and you just looked at
me for a minute and then burst out laughing. I was expecting a
whipping but I guess you taught me to have a sense of humor and
that all’s well that ends well!
I remember
when my friend Gary’s cat was sleeping up under the car and you
accidentally ran over it. We went and knocked on Gary’s door
and you told him you were sorry and that you would get him
another cat if he wanted. You taught me to be accountable for
my actions and to admit when I made a mistake.
I remember
when you took me to my first communion and the day that you got
up in front of the church and read from the Bible. You taught
me that you believed in God and that the words from the Bible
are his message to us and that God is real and that God is
Love.
When we
moved to Atlanta all of a sudden I could not get out of your
sight at the grocery store as you were afraid something could
happen and that taught me to always stick close to you because
you loved me.
Most of all
I remember those many mornings where you would rise early,
shower and get dressed to go off to another day at work. I
would anticipate seeing you in the evenings as I would ride my
bike to the bus stop where you would get off. I could tell by
the way you walked and by the terseness in your voice that you
were dog tired from putting in a long day at work while I played
or went to school. I remember it would take you a while to
“wind down” as you read the newspaper and sipped on a cold one;
but you always had time to help me with my homework or let me
show you what hobby I was working on or just to listen to
whatever questions I might have. You taught me that some things
are worth working for, especially if you have a family to
provide for.
Oh yeah… one
other time you helped me immensely. When I was 5 or 6 and I had
already been to the dentist once and they told me to come back
because I had 5 cavities. I was very nervous and you told me to
put my shoes on, that we had to go or we’d be late. I sat there
feigning not being able to tie my shoes and you stood there with
the door open and you said, “You really don’t want to go, do
you?” And I said, “not really”, hoping he would say that I
didn’t have to go. But he said, “Well if you go, I’ll be proud
of ya.” And that made all the difference in the world.
If
there’s one thing you didn’t teach me, Daddy;
it was how to say good bye. I don’t know
if things would be any different if I had had
a chance to say I love you and good bye one more
time. From what I know now, it probably
would not have made much of a difference.
I still have dreams where you come to visit me
and we go to Braves games and stuff like that,
just like before. To this day I am not very
good at good bye. I am much better at “See
ya later”. I want to believe that I will
see you again one day, but until then I will try
to put into practice all the things that you taught
me. Thanks.”
41
year old divorced, remarried mother of three:
I fixed and ordered your waiting room as a gift
to you. Others left it in a mess and it wasn't
fair for you to have to clean it up. I did it
because you have given me a gift. You have helped
me see me. You hold the mirror. You have given
me a different perspective... not just my life,
but my children's lives as well. It may be more
how to love, how to appreciate all there is, where
one is now at this moment... that's a gift! It's
not the small things... it's just what it is...
I could clear your waiting room every day for
a year and never feel like I made a dent in repaying
your gifts. If you were to die tonight please
(tearfully) know that you have made a difference.
The gift: to be aware, the discovery of Truth
can be both freeing and habit forming. It's a
different perspective.. it's just a little shift.
I see life now in a whole different way... before
I was looking at myself from what wasn't true,
what I feared and avoiding my whole heart. Thank
you.
52 year old divorced
professional female
followed in psychotherapy in AFPI from 9/2006
to the present for mood and socialization issues
with a history of substance/physical and sexual
abuse made these comments recently relative to
her experience in treatment:
“I’m so much better off now than when
I started here. I actually look forward to things
to come. I have a more positive attitude. I have
thoughts of suicide much less often. You know
I didn’t tell you then but I was very suicidal
when I came in. I would sit in the floor with
several bottles of pills and a box of wine and
try to decide why not to kill myself. I remember
you said you wouldn’t take me unless I agreed
to tell someone if I had serious thoughts of taking
my life. That was hard to agree to. You just must
have known back then. Now I look to the future
and back then I just made it through the day.
I’m (smile) still not sure what I want to
do with my life but I’m no longer thinking
of ending my life.
I smile a whole lot more now. I have more hope.
I have a much stronger
relationship with God… much less despair,
now. I used to climb into bed and stay there trying
to sleep away my life. I don’t do that now.
I’m more confident; less willing to “take”
things like abuse from others. I’m more able
to give to other people for example in my work.
Yes, I have more self-respect, more patience
with others, I’m more comfortable with others,
less pessimistic, and much less angry.”
Since I was here the first time, I left the first
meeting with a sense of hope. I’d been struggling
for years with other therapists and getting worse
and worse. The medication was frustrating…
all of those pills and no better. They were not
helping obviously. 99.99% of what I’ve gotten
here is from learning. I felt like after the first
day there was someone who believed in me, someone
who was actually willing to listen and help me
not just to medicate me. The changes began after
the first couple of weeks.
I’ve learned now that I can feel it and
it’s OK. Before I wasn’t feeling anything.
Feeling pain is OK. I feel and accept it now.
You are a Godsend to me. You understand the levels
of intelligence. You keep me on my toes, call
me on my bull. I need that. I need to continue
to keep reflecting on my growth and changes. You
believed in me. You believed I could.”
15 year old high school
freshman with a history of several years of resistance
to authority and mood issues on Juvenile Court
probation:
"A man (Dr.Ware) I once despised turned out
to be a hero in my life. I was court ordered to
see a doctor; I walked in that office ready to
put a fake smile on and get over with it without
letting anything out. After a few months, this
doctor cracked me; he got to the broken parts
of my heart and continuously clawed at them. There
was silence for a few moments after a screaming
match. I was ready to walk out, when he said,
"Welcome back." I didn't understand.
He told me I passed a test, that I would be somebody
someday. I sat down slowly and didn't say a word.
My eyes were open and I was taking it all in for
the first time in years. He said, "The key
to success is, not your mom, not your dad, not
your wealthy grandmother, not your friends, not
your probation officer, not your foster family,
it's the person you need most." Nobody wanted
me and I wasn't going to let him tell me that
someone actually needed me! "Who needs me?"
I yelled with tears running down my face. "You!"
he yelled back. "You," he repeated more
calmly while catching my eyes with his. "The
key to success is your brains. It's education.
How else will you get out of your situation. Will
you get emancipated and go live with a guy who
'says' he'll take care of you, but ends up leaving
you with no money and a baby? Will you inherit
your grandmother's money and live off of that?
It won't last forever, you know. You won't have
anyone! Listen to me! Take in my words for I know
you have a future! Pursue in school! Learn! Learn
all you can and your knowledge will take you to
the highest point in your life! Something I know
you dream of." "Now again, the key to
success is education." It meant something
that it never meant before to me. Something life
changing. Something magical that everyone should
know."
47 year old married
(second marriage) mother of two reports the following
experiences subsequent to doing the Intensity
Monitoring exercise regularly:
"The world just seems different... it's
like I can see the leaves and the trees for the
first time.... colors.... they're more vivid...
and brighter.... I can breathe... there is fresh
air... it just seems brighter.... the sky is bluer...
I can see the gray in the sky... I can see clearer....
I enjoy the breeze on my face... I'm not too busy
or distracted to feel or acknowledge the breeze
on my face.... before I was so trying to change
things from what they are.... I lost what was
simple and true...."
47 year old married mother
of 5 who made the following comments concerning
her person/individual experience with AFPI:
"You have a gift. You see the "BS".
You know when to push and how to do it.... when
to make people angry... how to be thought provoking
and also when not to do that. You let me say (whatever
I'm thinking) and still have respect for me. I
love you because you make me think. You have the
ability to make me laugh at myself. You bring
out the worst and the best with me. I'm very fond
of you. You have a huge place in my heart. I (tearfully)
respect and adore you. You are the only person
in my life that can call my "BS" without
insulting me or crushing me. You don't leave it
at my one half truths... you push me. You are
giving me my life back. You have saved my and
my son's world and lives. You made me see the
world and save myself from myself and see the
people and the world differently and now I'm able
to work with my own children differently and can
"just be." I think you are very honest
and don't "BS" me. You don't throw out
a bunch of psycho-babble at me and expect me to
feel better. I love to pick your brain when you
let me even with stupid questions. It's truly
a love/hate relationship (laugh). Do you know
how many times I've been in counseling? No one
has ever tried to or been able to do what you
do with me. You have pushed me into awareness.
I've never learned as much as I have with you.
You have taught me how to be less judgmental (of
my own heart). At 47, I feel like my life has
just begun. The journey is in front of me and
I'm ready now to embrace it. I am ready to face
my journey and not try fix all of those people
around me. I really like having a life now. You
have helped keep my feelings and relationships
alive for me". I live here (now) as a human
being and don't judge myself and how I am being.
In my old self I would have felt responsible to
make others think and feel what I do. I'm much
more comfortable letting others be where they
are even when I think they are being destructive
to themselves. I'm not there all the way yet but
I'm on the way. Thank you for your gifts. Thank
you once again for awakening me, my truth, my
heart, and my life. "
November 30, 2008
Excellent care. Dr. Ware demonstrates genuine care and concern and this
is supported by great progess in treatment.
January 19th, 2011-"A
RARE GEM"
Dr Ware is one of the few psychiatrists who truly practices talk therapy
in addition to med management. He is gifted in insight as well as in therapy.
He is a true doctor of human behavior.
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